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How do you weigh in on the Vance-couch conversation?

Last Updated: 17.06.2025 12:27

How do you weigh in on the Vance-couch conversation?

It’s a creative form of masturbation that may feel pretty darn good.

Masturbation isn’t bad. It provides most of the benefits of sex, many of which actively improve human health, with zero risk of disease or pregnancy. It is an objectively good thing that most of us ought to do more often. Not for pleasure, though pleasure is also good, but for our health.

This, if he’d done it, would be perfectly okay.

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But what if he had? Why are we shaming him for this? Why would we shame anyone for this?

Creativity is also good, especially as the story would cause no harm to the couch and didn’t involve any direct contact with it. There’s no ick factor here, just a young person having fun in a way that doesn’t harm or impose upon anyone else.

Vance didn’t, or that’s the story. And honestly, I believe it. He’s a bit too uptight for that sort of thing.

I’m wondering about attachment and transference with the therapist and the idea of escape and fantasy? How much do you think your strong feelings, constant thoughts, desires to be with your therapist are a way to escape from your present life? I wonder if the transference serves another purpose than to show us our wounds and/or past experiences, but is a present coping strategy for managing what we don’t want to face (even if unconsciously) in the present—-current relationships, life circumstances, etc. Can anyone relate to this concept of escape in relation to their therapy relationship? How does this play out for you?

Decadent Girl by Ramon Casas. Public domain.

We need to stop shaming people for healthy activities they do in the privacy of their own homes.

I don’t see what’s wrong with banging couches.

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